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Wednesday, 21 July 2010

  • Marriage proposition, should I accept?

    A friend of the family called me, said her mother's in the hospital...with cancer. Wants me to fly across the country and visit them, and before she dies, marry one of her granddaughters.

    If I say yes...

    I'll get a new wife to take care of me, an uncle that's a billionaire, and chances to vacation/mingle with the rich and famous. At the expense of pursuing my artistic passions and dreams, which will be replaced by helping to run the many family businesses.

    If you were me, what would you choose? A life of struggle, freedom, and pursuit of dreams that you can call your own OR a life where you don't have to worry about a thing anymore but living would be regulated and restricted in terms of time and freedom?

Monday, 05 July 2010

  • Harvard & Yale VS Craigslist Girls, Flirt-Off who wins??

    [this post is a continuation of my last one]


    About once every six month I meet my soulmate, she just happens to change her body quite frequently.

     

    before I get to reposting my flirting with Ivy League girls....

    there's one girl that.....

    Asian Avenue 2003 - Knightsmilady Homepage

    He was her first. As she lay in bed, between the softness of her featherbed and the comfort of her quilt, with the dawn just beginning and a cool gentle breeze carrying the haunting sounds of the mourning dove through her open window, she welcomed once again the lucid dream of her first love. He was her first touch, her first kiss, the first touch on her breast from a boy, the first tongue slide timidly and gently in between her trembling lips.
    They vowed to love each other always, no matter what the fates had instore for them. Day in and day out they would talk on the phone or see each other, walking hand in hand telling each other everything. He would write her love letters, she would lovingly place them under her mattress and dream of him and how much he surely loved her.He was her first. They were happy year after year,blissfully inlove, people just knew they would someday wed.
    In the 3rd year of their relationship, he went off to college pledging his love for her would never die, but as so often happens,distance does not always make the heart grow fonder. The letters became less and less frequent, the phone calls stopped and little by little her heart broke into pieces she thought would just blow away. He was her first.She tried to move on, she dated others, but she always compared them to him.The others came and went.
    He came home for Christmas. One look and she was hooked all over again, they spent Christmas together, she knew he would never again leave her. The day before he left to return to school, she took his hand and slowly, seductively led him up the stairs to his room. He was her first.
    A letter arrives in Februrary, he`s met a girl" she`s very nice, I think you`ll really like her" he says.
    3 months later a letter arrives in the mail with a picture of the happy couple, "great news, we`re engaged." Once again, her heart is broken, she cries herself to sleep and feels her heart harden. Her friends tell her to get over it and move on. Its too soon, how do you move on from someone who was your life? He was her first.She wakes from her dream world for a moment, saddened and with a single tear running down her cheek.
    It`s funny how things such as smells and sounds can trigger memories. How getting caught in the rain can remind you of being caught in it once before only then you did`nt mind getting wet because you were with someone you loved. Or being homebound after a heavy snowfall because you were in the arms of someone you loved. The things that brought so much happiness then, cause so much pain now. As a line from a Savage Garden song plays lowly from her radio, a portion of the song, "just a twist in time" lulls her back to sleep. He was her first.A year goes by, she hears of him through his family, the one she thought would someday be her own, she tries to be happy for him, his accomplishments, his hopes and dreams coming true... but all she can think about is her own pain. On the outside, she lives her life seemingly content with the way things are going, her friends never know of the constant pain she feels. Six months go by, she deals with life and becomes more distant from the pain. She continues to see his family at gatherings, to hear the stories about how his life is going and she listens patiently and says all the right things. A year passes, his mother becomes ill, he comes home to see her.He comes home alone, no bride to be insight, she wonders about this, but the thought of putting her heart out there again and the pain that may insue was more then she cared to comprehend. His mother is dying, cancer the doctors say, he`s devastated, she is confused by her feelings of loss and why it should still matter to her when he hurts. He knows, she knows he`s home, yet they avoid each other. She to protect her heart, he because he knows he is the reason for that. He visits with his mother, stays a couple of weeks all the time knowing that her heart must surely belong to him. His mother passes away one night in her sleep. Once again, he seeks her out to soften his pain.They talked for awhile about the loss of him mother, about his life away from home,and about the things he still needs to accomplish. His pain is so deep that even she can feel it,then he tells her that the woman he fell in love with has no fallen in love with another, he begins to weep,quietly,and lays his head in her lap as she tries to comfort him. She can feel the tensions begin to rise between them, the longing, the feelings that she thought were so well hidden begin to rise to the surface once again. He kisses her,she tells herself its nothing, he places his hands on the side of her breast, she can feel the warmth starting to spread through her body, he kisses her neck as he slowly unbuttons her blouse, she is helpless to stop him and feels the wetness starting between her legs. As he moves to pull her in closer, all the painful memories fly through her mind and she then feels her body become tense, she reaches for his hands and gently pushes him away. She stands in front of him,with tears in her eyes, turns and walks away.He is confused, he calls... she refuses to talk to him. He comes by.... she refuses to see him. She loves him, and she knows that, but she can no longer be with him.
    He returns to his school, confused. She returns to hers, heartbroken but standing firm.
    The years go by, he goes on to fulfill his dreams.He travels, he marries, starts a family, and moves on with his life but somewhere, deep inside, he can not forget her. Afterall, he was her first.
    She finally meets a man who cares for her, and however unfairly, alot of him reminds her of the one she knows now, she will love forever. They wed, and attempt a life together. Then one day, after several years, fate seems to play a cruel joke. He steps back into her life. As she does everyday, she turns on her computer to check for her emails. She goes through the usual, things.. ads, coupons, messages from old friends and then she sees it, the name, his name. She sits in stunned silence staring at her screen. She doesn`t look at the email, just the name. Her emotions are one of sickness and excitement all at the same time. The message sits in her inbox for a day, then for two, then for three, still unopened. On day four, she finally musters up the courage to open it. "I will be arriving in town to see my father" he writes, " you`ve been in my thoughts for months, could we please meet?"
    Strange how the sound of a persons voice can be heard in typed words and shake a world that you`ve so carefully built.
    Against her better judgement, she responds to his email and agrees to meet him. She chooses a public place, but he responds with a place known to only them when they were dating. As soon as he mentions it, her mind is flooded with memories and emotions. She agrees.
    She wakes with a start, why this dream, why now, can`t someone make it stop?
    A light rain begins to fall outside her window, she rouses herself out of bed and into the shower. The dream it feels so real and the memories of it all keep flooding back in her head as she tries desperately to wash then out as the water from the shower cascades down her body.
    As the water runs, she lets her mind wander to the events of that day, the day she met him...again.
    Her nerves were a mess, she felt more guilt then she had in her entire life, should she be here, what would happen if her husband knew, secretly hoping that this ex lover would be fat and ugly, then the feelings that have remained with her for so long would just fade away. She forces herself to go.They meet in the designated place, and there he is just the way she remembers him, her heart skips a beat and she feels a silent tear on her cheek. She parks the car, and sits inside for awhile. She does not move, he does not move, although he sees her, he waits patiently for her to decide what it is she wants to do. She opens the door and steps out of the car, and he smiles. She returns his smile with a nervous grin of her own.They exchange the standard greetings, the "how are you?"s, the "did you have a hard time finding this place?", "was the traffic bad?" he asks her if she would like to walk, she agrees.
    They walk in an ackward silence for awhile, neither one knowing just what to say or how to say it, she finally asks him if there was something special he wanted to talk to her about. He averts her eyes and begins to tell her about his regrets from so many years past. He has everything a man could desire, a wife, a home, the career of his choosing, he has it all except that which he has realized his heart wants the most, the return of her love. She stops and looks at him, the words she would have given anything to hear once, shock her now. Her world spins and only adds to the guilt that she is feeling for being here in the first place. "Will you come back to me?" he asks her, "can we start again?" she thinks about these questions, could she really do this, be unfaithful to a man who she promised to love...
    She considers this in such depth, that she almost misses the thing he says next, "I can`t leave my wife, though, and I would not ask you to leave your husband", she walks into the proverbial wall. Nothing has changed with this man, nothing. It has always been this way with him, and she was a fool to think otherwise.
    Like being in a coma for years and then waking, this realization hits her. She begins to laugh, first quietly, then out loud, "what a fool, you are" she says to herself. He looks at here, in that way she remembers, that look of believing he is getting everything he wants. She stuns him with her reply. "For years I`ve waited and dreamed of this day, my desires were always for you, my heart in its totality. But once again, you want it all and not just me. I`m going home to the man i married." He reaches for her, holding her tightly, too tightly, he kisses her forcefully, she pushes him away, turns and heads for her car.
    Although her decision was now final, she could not overcome the guilt of keeping the fact that she saw this man without her husbands knowledge. It continues to eat at her conscience day after day, week after week, should she tell him, should she not, should she mention the kiss, she is at a loss.
    Months go by, little by little, the memory of that day and the guilt fades away. She is almost happy for the first time in along time. As she realizes this, the phone rings, she answers it, "hello?" the caller disconnects. Believing this to be just a random misdial. she thinks nothing of it and goes back to what she was doing. In the evening, this call comes again. Still no one there. The calls continue for 3 days, she begins to worry, she mentions them to her husband, he logically suggests that it`s probably just kids being kids. On the 4th day, in the evening, while her husband is working late, the call comes again. This time, however, the voice speaks. It is the voice of a woman, "you don`t know me" the voice says, "but".... The first thing that runs through her mind is the wife of the man she loved so many years ago. Has she found out that they met? Has something terrible happened to him? If only it had been that easy. While these thoughts run through her mind, she almost misses the next thing the voice says.
    "I`ve been sleeping with your husband."
    Worlds colliding and collapsing could not compare to the blackhole that flooded through her mind. All air ceased to flow,her heart stops for what seemed like hours. There was nothing but silence in the room. She could feel her lips trying to form words, but no sound escaped from them.



    [What can I say? After I visited her homepage, I knew we were meant to be together...]

    [Her Guestbook]
    Pants Fri, Sep 12, 2003 @ 05:48 pm wrote:
    oh the drama, oh the drama!!!!

    Pants Fri, Sep 12, 2003 @ 05:49 pm wrote:
    gee, quit pulling my leg.

    [Our Noteboxes]
    Knightsmilady: lets see here, youre married, and you dislike women and i'm the one that has drama?
    Pants: would you stop flirting?!?! okay, cash gifts are accepted.
    Knightsmilady: and ppl say a penny isnt worth much today?
    Pants: Oh no... I couldn't take your great great great great grandmother's 12th century vintage coin, that would be too much for me... I barely know you and your already offering me a piece of your family ancestry... I'll take the $1,500 dollar diamond ring.
    Knightsmilady: like i'd give you money to feed your habit
    Pants: Well, I didn't ask for more then cash.. but since you insist I guess you can send me a picture of your most beautifully and grandly dressed credit card number.
    Knightsmilady: you men are all the same. only want me for my credit limit
    Pants: Well maybe all the men you know only want you for your credit limit... I'd clearly go right over.
    Knightsmilady: you're not going over very well now
    Pants: Of course I'm not going over now, I'm busy.. and you didn't setup the fine china or gourmet dinner yet.
    Knightsmilady: i only do that for special ppl
    Pants: Of course you only do that for special people, who am I kidding? ....I'll take the fine china in one box, and you can pack the gourmet dinner in another bag.
    Knightsmilady: i'm sure you have a free food kitchen in your area
    Pants: I'm sure you're going to tell me you work in it... in that case, I'll ask you out. You can go out and carry the new refrigerator, automatic dish washer, and expensive wine from your kitchen too.
    Knightsmilady: why yes, i have volunteered in one. you should try it sometime.
    Pants: Next thing I know, you're going to be offering me a seat at your poetry recital, musical solo, or art exhibition. What a priceless experience that would be, now how much did you say I could sell these tickets for??
    Knightsmilady: i wouldnt think you could get very much for any of them. however, if you sell them to a friend of yours, and they're just like you, i'm sure you could sucker them out of their hard earned money
    Pants: So that means $45 from your girl friend down the block... do I hear a second bid?
    Knightsmilady: no second bids, you two deserve each other
    Pants: So tell me about your hot friend... starting from her modeling/acting career to the value of her estate to where you are going to chauffeur us for entertainment.
    Knightsmilady: arent you afraid all this flirting will upset your wife?
    Pants: Flirting is mild. Upset is when my wife comes home and finds me in bed with another one or two women. More upset is when she isn't invited to join, and has to operate the camcorder. Most upset is when I'm on the couch and have my arm around another women and we're analyzing the video playback; while my wife's parents step through the front door. Oops. Aren't you afraid all this fantasizing about another man will upset your husband?
    Knightsmilady: dont have one
    Pants: So you're lonely, desperate, and ready to be taken advantage of... I guess this changes nothing in our relationship.
    Knightsmilady: i'm none of those things but no, it doesnt change anything
    Pants: So you're independent, emotionally-stable, and well-breed then? ...Let me guess, your a speechwriter. And you specialize in one liners, such as... "yes, I love you", "oh I love being touched that way", and "where are you going with my wallet?"
    Knightsmilady: you're wife must be absolutely miserable living with you, you're such a cynic.
    Pants: What you mean? I treat all women gently, respectfully, and lovingly... and that's just after the first two hundred dollars a hour.
    Knightsmilady: you are too generous
    Pants: I know. ...And do you know what I tell women after they say that to me?
    Knightsmilady: "i know"? cuz thats what you said to me...
    Pants: No, silly. I tell them to come up with a more original compliment, because I heard that one already.
    Knightsmilady: in your case, i would think any compliment would be appreciated. i mean, i doubt that you hear alot of them

    [...]

    Knightsmilady: [her AIM sn]. catch me if you can
    Pants: [my AIM sn] ..I don't chase women. I play hide and seek, find me if you can.
    Knightsmilady: than i guess we're at an impasse. since men always come to me, and i have no desire to find you.

    [...]

    Knightsmilady: yeah,i'd love to AIM you, but unfortunaly you didnt leave your sn on your hp. pity, cuz i'm sure you'd love to hear from me
    Pants: Whoa girl! No so fast, what's your plan to keep me entertained?
    Knightsmilady: just to insult you at whenever the urge hits me
    Pants: And to have hope that some women in this day and age would have a shred of decency and character, I'm disappointed. I thought you were going to suggest rollerblading.
    Knightsmilady: rollerblading? thats so california
    Pants: Aren't you afraid all the attention your giving me will affect your work?
    Knightsmilady: not at all. you consume none of my thought nor my time
    Pants: Well I'm glad we agree on one thing, let your wallet do the talking for the both of us.
    Knightsmilady: i'm a county worker, i have no money. its you ppl in the private sector that are supposed to support me
    Pants: Yeah, but are you cute, physically fit, and able to get a second job?
    Knightsmilady: some say so, yes and no
    Pants: Do you answer all your emails with such short sentences or are you just shy around me?
    Knightsmilady: i was just taken aback by your attempt at civility
    Pants: You don't want civility, all women ever want of men is to fulfill some sick twisted fantasy involving passion, romantic escapades, and the sharing of one's deepest & innermost intimacies.
    Knightsmilady: i dont mind civility, i think its a necessity. and i'm not looking for a man to fulfill my dreams. and there are all sorts of things to be passionate about
    Pants: Good virtues, civility, refinement... all shear attempts by women to get men to uphold things that females lack.
    Knightsmilady: you must be a joy for your to come home to every night
    Pants: Oh no need to flatter me, I'm sure your just as pleasant and radiant to reside with.
    Knightsmilady: i'm slightly better then perfect
    Pants: I know... you cook, clean, pamper, and provide ...what more can a man ask for?
    Knightsmilady: i dont pamper. so i guess thats one thing a man could ask for
    Pants: I like that... Pampering. I also like how you say on your page... "He was her first".
    Knightsmilady: well, he was
    Pants: So you saying you cooked, cleaned, and provided for this man but you didn't pamper him?
    Knightsmilady: there is no man
    Pants: I agree, there is no such man... yet.
    Knightsmilady: not looking for one either

    [...]

    Knightsmilady: how come you dont have a picture on your homepage?
    Pants: Because women go for looks over personality; and I only care for sweet, genuine, air-mailed gifts.
    Knightsmilady: i guess that means that you have 2 strikes against you. and what do you care what women go for? you're married. which means you must be looking to play
    Pants: what do you mean play? thumbwars? why yes... how come you don't have a picture on your homepage?
    Knightsmilady: i'm ugly
    Pants: I know.
    Knightsmilady: well, since you are and i am, i guess we could prove it to each other

    [...]

    Pants: that's cute.
    Knightsmilady: i try
    Pants: it shows.
    Knightsmilady: face it, you've grown strangely attached to my spectacular online personality and you're just afraid to show it. its ok, everyone loves me


    [If we ever married, we'd probably enter the Guinness Book of World Records for holding the longest flirting at intensity. I miss her company.]

    [now for the reposts...]

    2003?? Asian Avenue Young Professional Chat Room

    Claire was a Yale Medical student...sweetie. Probably a doctor by now.

    SPAMMER: (Auto Spamming)
    Pants: are you on bot mode?
    Claire: he is
    Claire: hopefully he will be gone
    Pants: I'm guessing a fan of [girl with screen name similar to the spammer]... I have hilarious note-conversation with her
    Claire: i hear many ppl reported him and other [spamming account]
    Pants: he owns two accounts that I know of, the one he's spamming with now and [another spamming account]
    Claire: lol
    Pants: quite a dedicated fellow if you ask me :p
    Claire: hopefully his real life is better than this
    Claire: pants, so what do u do?
    Pants: naw... it could be bloody miserable, he could be lonely and having family problems.. you never know, why do you think people spam... if not to get attention to cover up another area lacking in their life?
    Claire: yeah, but he's gotta be one heck of a immature kid to do so
    Pants: so tell me about your educational background and current job career :p
    Claire: nah. not much.
    Claire: in medicine
    Claire: u?
    Claire: btw i am not looking
    Pants: maybe SPAMMER doesn't get enough hugs, maybe his wife turned a
    cold shoulder and nobody's there for him...
    Claire: most ppl who chat w/me , know so
    Claire: eh, i bet he's single
    Claire: depressed
    Claire: repressed
    Pants: you don't have to be looking to find something, I'm looking but I don't see anything... do you have credit card?
    Pants: :p
    Claire: i don't even want to find anything. lol
    Claire: besides, u r married [note to audience: I put up married in my profile, I'm not really married! but whenever a girl brings that up, I know she's interested]
    Claire: u still haven't told me what u do
    Pants: he could be a nice guy that's got turned down by his one true love, he could be taking it hard on himself and taking his aggression out on an uncompassionate audience, it could be a way of therapy for him... to be pained to relive pain...
    Pants: to remember his former sadness
    SPAMMER: (Auto Spamming)
    Claire: the chances of your rational being right is next to nil
    Pants: u still haven't given me your measurements... height/weight/and age...
    Claire: pants, sorry. i don't give those out
    Pants: just like your compassion for him...
    Claire: and u haven't answered any of mine
    SPAMMER: (auto spamming)
    Pants: and you haven't answered any of mine so we're even :p
    SPAMMER: (auto spamming)
    Claire: no, i answered i am in medicine
    Claire: u told me nothing
    Pants: so what kind of doctor are you?
    Claire: see?
    Claire: my point exactly
    Claire: need i say more
    Pants: no I don't see, I'm not looking... you needn't say more just
    hold SPAMMER and tell him you love him
    Pants: :p
    Pants: jk
    Claire: okay...
    Claire: g'nite pants...
    Pants: what do you come here for anyway?
    Claire: chat
    Pants: but why?
    Claire: y not?
    Claire: taking a break
    Pants: why not offline or over the phone?
    Claire: haha
    Pants: why online? why with me?
    Claire: cuz ppl are on call
    Pants: why in YP?
    Claire: or sleeping
    Claire: i chatted in YP since college
    Claire: i know some interesting ppl here
    Claire: some i still keep in touch with
    Claire: some help out
    Claire: in fact same field
    Claire: or same college
    Claire: anyways...
    Pants: note me, yes I know...
    Claire: they are great conversationalist
    Pants: what do you talk about?
    Claire: not looking for dates or ASL
    Claire: or some other superficial stuff
    Claire: ah... many things
    Claire: work, politics, arts, travel
    Claire: anyways...
    Pants: yes I know, you shouldn't keep me up unless you have something interesting to say :p
    Pants: that's okay...
    Pants: note me ;)
    Pants: when you're in a good mood
    Claire: haha
    Claire: u r funny...
    Claire: anyways, some other time.
    Pants: you know what I tell females who say that?
    Claire: no, i don't wanna know
    Claire: they are trying to be curt
    Pants: you have AIM?
    Claire: i do
    Claire: but i am not on usually
    Claire: once in 6 months
    Pants: well I don't want to make you go on more often so... it's up to you...
    Claire: up to me what?
    Claire: i am not interested, if that's what your implying
    Claire: your= ur
    Pants: up to you whether you want to give your sn, and up to me whether I show up when you're begging :p jk
    Claire: damn. u r
    Claire: lol
    Claire: u r so full of it.
    Pants: that's why you love me
    Pants: :p
    Claire: i don't think so
    Claire: we don't have much in common
    Pants: you know so
    Pants: exactly why I intrigue you
    Claire: needless to say, hold a conversation for that matter
    Pants: :p
    Pants: haha
    Claire: ahhh. no.
    Claire: i am leaving
    Pants: to where? fix my car?
    Claire: i think u r mistaken.
    Pants: how nice :p
    Claire: g'bye Pants: ;)
    Pants: aren't you forgetting something?
    Claire: what?
    Pants: something like...
    Claire: u sound like eric
    Pants: who's eric?
    Claire: that's what bothers me the most
    Claire: a friend i know
    Claire: u sound just like him
    Pants: how so?
    Claire: ah. never mind
    Claire: bye
    Pants: oh, it's so female to bait guys with questions and statements like that...
    Pants: oh you're so like jenny...

    ...and to the note box it continues...

    [lines I love]
    Me: that's why you love me
    Her: I don't think so
    Her: we don't have much in common
    Me: you know so
    Me: exactly why I intrigue you

    I absolutely love those lines! :D



    [after Yale comes Harvard...]

    2004 My Asian Avenue Homepage

    You love her, she dumps you.

    The Spiral Down
    She is a winged demon, with an angel face. A seducer, an object of desire, the women you should have been warned about but never were. And had they warned you, you'd never listen anyway. She is innocence, a model of external beauty, the look of a sheep or deer caught in the headlight. Yet, if you glance again, for a brief split second, you'd notice a flash of unearthly fire in her eyes.

    It registers at a subconscious level, a curiosity you cannot explain. Yet it draws you in, you want to be an aggressor, you want to act. You want to get to know her. You speak with her, and to your delight she is friendly, gentle enough, and seemingly even sweet. She's a bit reserved, or is she holding back something? Perhaps the mystery is created in your own mind, you can't help but feel different...special, in her company.

    You begin to commit more time to her. You begin to work for her attention. She has the most intriguing mind, a lovely soothing voice. You begin to notice more about her, the way she walks, the way she plays with her hair. It makes your heart skip, thump-thump-jump. Her presence is not only comforting, it frees you from your everyday worries. In her presence you feel more man. Then it hits you, if you don't move quickly, you could lose her.

    The thought of loss sickens you, causes inward panic. Are others competing for her attention? Could you lose her forever? It causes you great stress thinking about it. By now she has not only captured your mind, but you start to want her body to. Her lips look so inviting. You want to possess her. And to your surprise, she agrees to spend more time with you. The first bliss sets in; you have begun to lose yourself.

    Blinding Reality
    She is dancing in your head, invading your dreams. You can picture a new future. Your time apart only deepens your love for her. She consumes you. You are addicted to a fantasy, with her in center stage. Then perhaps days or months later...boom, it hits you a rock, she pulls back. Your world is shaken. There is another? She doesn't love you anymore? Something is in the way? You demand to know. She is civil, yet her words sting.

    She is a sheep with the bite of a wolf. You must have offended her somehow, yet you do not know what you did wrong. Your mind wanders, going over scenarios--one after the other. Yet you find nothing. Maybe she finds you boring, uninteresting, and tiresome. What else can explain her sudden dissatisfaction? Maybe you have not put in enough effort lately, it is time to up the ante.

    You pursue her twice as hard, you would go to the ends of the earth for her and make her realize it. You shower her with attention, compliments, gifts, anything and everything. You even get female friends to help you, to offer their advice. It works at first, but something is off. Something is dark about her, it moves in her shadows, it startles you. But that is just silly, she could do no wrong. Yet a part of you is hurting. How so?

    Without realizing it, she has slowly spun a web around you. Detached you from your former world. Perhaps your friends are more distant then before, maybe your interests have shifted. You've changed, but you don't realize it or maybe you fool yourself. She made you a better person, glued together your broken pieces. Without her, you'd be a million shards once more. You've hit rock bottom now, money gone, time ebbed away, and not a world or thought outside of her. She dumps you.

    Restless Hell
    You contemplate suicide. You try to win her back. She rejects you. You chase, she runs. You cry, bleed, lose your mind. But nobody hears you, sees you, or cares. You have thrown away everything for her, your past, your relations with others, all dropped to prove your devotion to her. And it gets worse. The double clincher is you remember your happiness with her, your love for her. You hail good times with her as the pinnacle of your existence. Your feelings of her were incomparable. She made you forgot all worries and soothed your pains. Your mind and heart eats itself from inside-out, it kills. She was your angel; you now burn in the depths of hell.

    If you cling onto the image of her for the rest of your life, you will not be the last. Oh no, she has a track record. By the end of her life she will have seduced many men to poverty, insanity, eternal restlessness, and suicide (inward if not outward). This is her life, this is her story. She is the devil with an angel face.

     

    The words are my own, the writing style, inspired from the book:

    The Art of Seduction

     

     

    My Asian Avenue Notebox, Her Asian Avenue Notebox.... 
    (Nayho = sweet & wonderful hottie.)

    Nayho: i was perusing your journal and had some difficulty finding
    your voice...or hearing your voice in my head. i enjoy your entries
    but have to say sir that you must explore women outside of your
    comfort zone. sterotypes and social stigmas can be difficult to
    exhonerate however...keep an open mind and a open heart and you'll be
    amazed at the things you've overlooked.

    Pants: In every mind is the voice of many. // By design // a plenty
    and few // as our genes spindle our bodies // is our consciousness
    constructed and construed. // (_) // If you could hear my voice from
    my journal, I'd be surprised. For that, most people use the telephone.
    // (_) // Yes I could explore women outside my comfort zone, but since
    when was the last time you explored men outside your comfort zone? If
    you keep an open heart and open mind you'll be amazed at the things
    you've overlooked....

    Nayho: quite witty aren't you. obviously i think you know that i was
    referring to your written speech, the tone in which you relay to your
    readers. by no means did i mean to offend you or arouse any
    defensiveness. we're all here for the ride...choose a part. // "All
    the world's a stage, // And all the men and women merely players. //
    They have their exits and their entrances, // And one man in his time
    plays many parts, // His acts being seven ages."

    Pants: Now that you mentioned it...I guess I am witty. // How come you
    made a quote without giving the author credit or proper citation?
    Isn't that like plagiarism? Aren't you from Harvard? Is that somebody
    running off with your degree... // My part is male, your part is
    female. That could only mean one thing...you better write me some more
    original poetry!

    Nayho: your adamant demands will lead you nowhere mr. pants. and i
    thought it was obvious that the person whom i quoted was
    shakespeare....now, that would only be plagarism if and only if i
    wrote the text as i am writing this e-mail to you. however, because i
    used quotations- note the quotations in corespondence below- one
    cannot accuse me of plagarism... as for my harvard degree...it's
    hanging quite beautifully on my wall next to my nyu degree...if it
    doth run away, i wouldn't mind, for a piece of paper means absolutely
    nothing to me in real life... // "what you really want from a nigga?"
    - DMX // :)

    Pants: How could you be so indifferent about your degrees? Harvard,
    NYU, ...those two pieces of paper must have at least cost you fifty
    bucks off the internet. // I thought it was obvious that my request
    for original poetry was merely a forethought, barely a trifle, and
    hardly worth an inquisition...now, it would only be a demand if and
    only if (1) it touched on a rather tender weakness in the bequeathed
    or (2) somebody didn't get a move on it! // ...you like quoting people
    don't you =)

    Nayho: yeah, i wonder if i can find someone to sell them to. momma
    wants a pair of the new blaniks....i'm sure to find another asian with
    the same name. and i'm even more positive that some hood rat bitch in
    monterey park would LOVE to assoicate herself to nyu and or harvard.
    haha. // now pants, are you really heart broken or do you want to be?
    do you write because you can't express your emotions in real life? //
    i like quoting people because i love other people's interpretations.
    yes, i like messing with people but i'm amazing at how stupid people
    are. is that horrible? hee hee.

    Pants: Yeah, your horrible and mean. All I need now is a picture of
    you to complete the profile. // Selling off your degrees to buy a pair
    of blaniks? Is this the part where you tell guys you have some
    financial difficulties...and they run away? // I don't have emotions
    in real life, no heart either, things just come to me in half-dream
    states, quick flashes and disappear ...kind of like that time when a
    girl lent me her car.

    Nayho: i'm not horrible and mean. i can be if given the opportunity. i
    don't think i've ever told a boy that i have finanical difficulites
    cus that would be a lie...okay, maybe once when i was in school and i
    had a live in leech as a boyfriend who didn't understand the concept
    of rent and groceries. // what you have my dear is a lot of pent up
    anger...as do i. it sucks but i somethimes feel that the world has
    screwed me over....is it an asian thing or a anger management problem?
    haha. // i've decided that i will no longer be the runaway bride or
    the black mamba - a new nickname a little boy gave me. not thinking
    too much or over analyzing things...just going along for the
    ride....jeah right. we'll see how long that lasts.

    Pants: "I am ready for marriage, I do not provide housing, shelter, or
    food" ...man, that's gotta be one attractive offer! If I didn't know
    better, I'd say you were a marketing specialist...or pregnant. // Tact
    on the "I see being horrible and mean as opportunity", "I don't lie;
    only when it's convenient", "I have pent up anger issues", "race is
    problematic too", "I been screwed over", and "well I only ran away
    from a few marriages--let me get that dust pan and sweep it under the
    rug" and also "children call me a venomous snake, but don't worry I
    got my lawyers working on the technicalities of that one" ..and you
    can clearly see an example of a most healthy, adventurous, and hearty
    female =) ...Oh look, it's time for a tea break! ....."your dear" will
    just be slowly slipping out the back exit and *vroom* * screech*
    *airplane takeoff noise goes here* // THE END.

    Nayho: words are often spoken and more often unheard but you defy that
    old saying. you've, well, dissected into my very last vowel and
    discovered the essence of my being. i want to congratulate you on
    doing what no man has ever done before. can you please hold up the rug
    and get me a broom for i will hide no more.
    you know me man, i think you really do. you see into my soul, with the
    very light of you. // we must be twins seperated at birth. how you
    could you know that i've been hurt? although i am a marketing
    specailst to the nth degree, i've been beaten and torn, but this only
    you can see. // aww, pants let's get hitched. my baby daddy don't want
    anything to do with me but i don't care that i've been ditched. i
    found my other half, who cares if it's online... // i'm not always
    there when you call but i'm always on time... // *eyes rolling*

    [and that's how to get a marriage proposal from a Harvard Graduate in five emails :) ...Nayho...my love.] 

     

    The classics seem to do a better job than most of the movies nowadays,
    if you're into witty banter, below are movies with some:

    His Girl Friday


    Double Indemnity (scene where the wife is trying to buy
    life insurance for her husband without him knowing)


    One of Woody Allen's movies also had something, forget which one... maybe:

    Manhattan Murder Mystery



    Breakfast At Tiffany's? I forget if there was something in
    this movie too, worthwhile watch whatever the case. 


    Meet Joe Black - scene at the coffee shop (early part of the movie)




    ...if you enjoyed this post,
    feel free to leave me something


    So that's my flirting. Harvard & Yale VS Craigslist Girls, who wins??

    I should really turn this all into a screenplay.... to be continued

Monday, 14 June 2010

  • enough hypotheticals: Real dating ads and responses, where's yours?

     

    CL Girls

     

    If you're wondering what type of girls are on Craigslist, I'll tell you: budding actresses, models, and girls with rich daddy's. But the odds are you won't find 'em, cause they're either camouflaged or in hiding.

    Below are three CL ads I've posted up, and some of the responses I've got...

     

     

    *WARNING WARNING WARNING*

    continue only if you're into swearing, evil humor, and the truth.

     

     

    My Ad #1

    toronto craigslist > city of toronto > men seeking women

    In search of traumatic CL experience... (here of course)

    Date: 2009-06-29, 6:37PM EDT


    In search of traumatic CL experience... aka I'm good looking + you're ugly = it's a great match in your head. 

    ok, observing CL for a few weeks I think I'm beginning to see patterns here. 

    boys complaining about girls, girls complaining about boys. neither meeting the other's standards, and both sides trying to get what they presume is a better end of a deal in a "I give you this, for you give me that" exchange. Exchange being more like demands, demands more like a precursor to ain't get no satisfaction. 

    Given that's the state of things here, how about I come in with a slightly different approach and mentality? Let's try to be more honest to ourselves. If I wanted perfection, I'd more likely be clubbing girls on the front lawn of Harvard over the head and throwing them over my shoulder than be posting on CL but the lawn of the prim, polish, and caviler of the most exclusive of nobility in the most pristine of places isn't what I'm looking for--I'm looking for the CL experience...whatever that may entail, be it throes of the desperate, weirdo's, perverts, spam, eyesores, etc. 

    I want to know, I'm here to gauge what is CL, I'm ready to deal. 

    If you're normal, that's great. If you're self proclaimed awesome, that's cool. If your lacking in some areas, that's all good to...sometimes the very things that make us human and accessible are our weaknesses. So instead of telling me what you presume I want to hear, I want you to tell me what's your real deal. I'd rather what you say be honest and accurate then have you overwork yourself trying to hyper inflate your strengths to impress me and hide the rest under the rug. That's too much work, just be yourself. 

    What have you got to lose? ...the worst? if your only capable of writing one sentence replies or sound like spam, I might not write back, but that's feedback in itself! The best that can happen? Well, I'll let you judge the way I carry and articulate myself as to the type and caliber of person I am, and the kind of interactions we'll have. 

    • Location: here of course
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

     

     

    *** (not the only one but,) a reply to my ad ***
    SB:
    re:in search of traumatic experience

    OK so your post amused me enough to give not only a reply, but a completely, quite honestly brutal, one. 

    I was actually on craigslist looking for work, but the absolutely depressing lack of jobs available had me searching the weird wilds of the relationship sections for a laugh.  Last Friday the president of my company (a private school) walked in, told us that it was our last day (our students had just left so they were none the wiser to what was happening and I was never able to properly say goodbye) and told us if we saw the landlady of our building not to tell her anything. So not only was I laid off, but I felt like I had to leave the building ninja-style.

    Why do I find the relationship section so funny?  Some men are incredibly vague about who they are and what they want, putting absolutely no details that might inspire interest and then they complain about women being picky "I don't get it, all I said was no fat chicks! How come skinny chicks aren't breaking down my door?" 

    Even better are the ridiculously detailed ones "I'd like a girl between the ages of 25-30, between 5'4-5'7, brown hair, brown eyes, a bubble butt, her left nipple pierced with a gold hoop (none of that silver stuff), her big toes absolutely MUST be longer than the toes next to them etc. etc. etc.

    Some of the stuff goes over my head...what exactly is BBW? LTR? Bubble butt? Is sensual massage what I think it is or worse? Though I'm 26 I'm admittedly pretty naive in the relationship aspect of life. The teaching thing was mainly to support my acting and music ambitions (unfortunately Toronto's film, TV and music industries resemble a scorched wasteland right now). I also have a tendency to not recognize if a guy is flirting with me and/or can't seem to show that I'm flirting back.  If I'm alone I can come across as cold or aloof but that's mostly because I'm daydreaming off in my own little world. In a group of friends I can be pretty wild, sarcastic and funny (hopefully that's coming across in this email).

    I will never drag a guy to a romantic comedy. I like talking about superhero movies, comics, some politics (mostly to mock), the Discovery Channel particularly shows that involve dinosaurs or myth busting, Food Network (many of my friends are trying to talk me into opening a bakery or something), unfortunately I won't have a TV in my next place so those last two will be obsolete.

    Anyways, if you haven't been glued to your computer chair by cobwebs yet or gone to do something more interesting than reading this overly long post like re-organizing your kitchen drawers or making puppets out of your mismatched socks, I hope you found as much amusement out of this response as I did to your original post.

    ***

     

     

    My Ad #2

    toronto craigslist > city of toronto > personals > men seeking women

    ^_^ ^_^ you're probably a bitch and fucked up, but whatever. ^_^ ^_^ - 28 (up yours! %$#*& ad rated 21 & over)

    Date: 2009-12-16, 3:42AM EST

     

    fuck it, i can tell girls don't respond to ads these days anymore and if they do, it's going to end up in some messed up back and forth email shit (cause either you or i am too pussy to go out for real, right?). why don't you give me your number? no, no, why don't YOU give me yours? give me your pic! no, no give me yours first! and then after a few of these exchanges, i get my ass kicked...

    or the typical no response back in the first place. but oh well, it can't be helped. i'm an idiot, just like a lot of us men are, and we'll just keep writing anyway, to feed female egos, to relieve our own(?)...i suppose, because by now...after 547283 tries, we all know the patterns.

    i'll just write some bullshit about some imaginary girl that don't exist and you keep talking about some fag you want for a boyfriend or husband or rich dying dirty old man to feed your desperation.

    so let me get started. i couldn't get a keeper of a girl if my life depended on it, perhaps i'm not the kind of man with that capacity (me loser---being loser makes me smile duh). (dream girls, what variety do you want? extinct or inflatable?) i'd rather have a girl that carries herself as a guy but looks like a girl, what i mean is a girl that's straight forward and can say what she means and means what she says, isn't a scaredy cat, can talk guy and have her share of manly hobbies (video games and BBQ chicken wings that's man, flur-du-whatever exotic language that's padded to sound romantic/sophisticated, what the hell is that?!? like feminine products and food menus...there's so much I don't get, and don't want to). I prefer girls that aren't full of confusing chick behavior...cause that stuff just makes me want to run...i just don't understand that, like strange emotional vibes, i'm sorry...too weird, bye bye.

    i can probably dress the role of prince charming for some occasions, just don't expect me act the part indefinitely or without a little bit of prep...unless your view of prince charming involves having your man kick ass of course. why do women want men to be something they're not? why don't women just get guys that acts like guys and consider that perfect? wow, i got a guy who acts like a guy, how cool! right? ...so i'm a guy, i can be pretty shitty and an asshole at times, yeah i'm not the man of your dreams but thankfully, cause who would want to be a fairy?

    all in all, i probably won't like you very much or for long, but what the hell; you hate me, i hate you, somehow that kind of communication makes the world go round.

    nobody reads this far down and lives..

    so i can just make stuff up and say whatever the hell i want, like... if you agree to smash my head through a brick wall, i'll consider going out with you. write me back so i can ignore you and get an ego boost. send me all your info so i can pimp you on a lesbian escort site, etc.

    • Location: up yours! %$#*& ad rated 21 & over
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

     

    *** some replies to my ad ***

    A:

    wtf are you rambling on about in your ad?? It was a full page of nothing, and yes I read the entire thing.
    What are you looking for?? get back to me [personal info removed]

    me:

    thank you for writing me, since I'm lonely, desperate, and somewhat of
    a pervert I decided to write you back too.

    i don't think we should meet up unless i get to play creepy,
    perverted, weirdo and hump your cat

    I also want to check if anything's stuck up your vagina and if you
    require cleaning, to lubricate and pump till that shit's all
    out...offering very reasonable prices of course

    in the meantime, i'll test if I can really jump out of a plane without
    a parachute and survive

    [and guess what? you think after such a reply i'd get ditch right away...but NO! ...continued for months after... turns out she was a sweetie :) ]

     

    ***

    Z:

    hahai have no problem smash your head through a brick wall we women all have "weird" emotions....not just because men and women are fundamentally different; most of the men are socially engineered to accept that's the part of womanhood.
    anyway, good luck


    me:

    your brain is eating you alive, my god turn it off before it's too late!

    brains get in the way of beauty, cause having no brain would make you absolutely beautiful

    [went on for quite a while after that, her number's up for sale if anybody wants... jk]

    ***

    NNY:

    i wont like you either but thats the point

    ugh. 

    i hate you already. but thats the good thing i guess. 

    dark knight: the joker... you gotta hate him, because hes an asshole. but half the time the fucked-up shit he says is right and you just know hes hot behind the dirty hair and the mask. 

    the only point of men. look hot, play your video games, drink beer, burp, talk to your friends and generally ignore me...but also kiss me, well. have something intelligent to say once in awhile. 

    i will snowboard and generally kick ass. in a tight dress. which i can actually wear, because im hot. and no, not snowboarding in a tight dress. smart ass. 

    you'll also be terribly selfish in bed. i'll fake it. 

    ***

    NP:

    re: a bitch and fucked up
    I like your CL post it made me laugh ....:) 
     
     
    Used to play video games ...but I have my fair share of geekiness ....
     
     
    [her name  removed]

    ME:

    i like what i'm hearing, so tell me more about how you'd please me

    NP:

    LOL .... you know ...I totally forgot I emailed you and not only that your ad ....

    So ..... in this cause I don't know how I will please you ...

    [her name removed]

    ME:

    well in that case I believe you were going to perform a trick of
    accidentally forgetting your name by running face first into my fist

    NP:

    your such a complete asshole .....but i guess u knew that already ... 

    ME:

    i know, i'm such a shit, and you can't get enough of me

    send me your pic, i want to know if it'll make me horny or throw up

    ***

    MS:

    I enjoy the negativity and pessimism in your post.



    Signed,


    A Bitch

    ME:

    yeah and

    I enjoying imagining a dildo up your ass

    if you're as fucked up as i think you are, i think you'd probably enjoy that too

    alongside having a car backed up over you

    hot damn

    MS:

    no no, you see I am the one ramming the dildo.  I will allow you to back up the car over me however.  That is, if your mom lets you borrow the minivan on the weekends.

    ME:

    ah shit, an emo with a dildo, i wonder how you're going to kill
    yourself with that

    you'd rather die and leave me humping your corpse than allow yourself
    to be fantasized in pleasure...is that like a cultural thing? or do
    you just prefer sex as a zombie?

    do you have any money, I kind of feel bad having to run over you
    without getting paid

    ***

    PJ (some guy name):

    Helo. Pretty girl is here!

    me:

    i doubt it. probably some drunk fuck, i'd regret answering maybe

    ***

     

    My Ad #3

    toronto craigslist > city of toronto > personals > miscellaneous romance

    seeking woman, must be able to survive jump into nuclear reactor - m4w - 28 (b4 click, pls check that ur 18+ & female)

    Date: 2010-02-18, 6:13AM EST


    i'm just rambling to myself, you probably can't take it.

    BEFORE YOU READ MY AD...
    there's two things you have to know.
    consider them tests you have to pass (or get out while you still can).


    #1. i'm a guy, you're a girl....preferably hot and rich, if you can survive my writing..you ARE smart.

    i'm a male, if you're going to answer my ad you better be sure you're female, and not half-half or unsure. fuck, there's bound to be some drunk guys on here that thinks anything and a lamp post is a hot women, but i'm trying to cut those kind of misunderstandings down.

    also...if your idea of a good time involves dropping a kitten in a lawn mower and spraying the guts around to re-decorate your room...we might get along...in hell. yes, so it has come to my attention that a fair number of you on here are either psychotic, homicidal, or fresh escapees from the mental ward...just great...hopefully you'll fly in a garbage truck and get sauced.

    #2 if you can't stand my sense of humor, you're going to get run over by it...anyway

    damn, you're still reading.

    can i shave you bald yet?


    I'm going to share with you a few things, none you want to hear. You and your expectations...
    -A. if you can't keep a man happy consistently, you're bound for singledom.
    -B. you found everything you said you were looking for once, then you found out everything you were looking for wasn't exactly what you wanted and changed your mind. and somehow this pattern repeats itself, with every iteration an exploration of something new. if there were a constant in your idiosyncrasies, it would be your craving that never gets sated and hunger for always more.
    -if A & B describe you, you're probably nuts, but i guess most girls have a screw loose so whatever.
    -C. there's a lineup of women I've disappointed, you are going to be another one if you expect any more than a laugh and that's in line with my expectations for you (if you can make me laugh, you beat out the majority of female population...oh ya).


    Boy/Girl relations?
    -the dating system you are wallowing in is flawed. so please tell me how can I beat your lowest expectations and worst experience? after all, isn't it that a perfect relationship is defined by death...only then can historians fudge the facts and sell the dream. men want slaves, women want robots (they can program).
    -guys want gals for a lot of reasons...none of which females find all that appealing. A post-Freud would say? perhaps we have a secret wish for our best friend of the same sex to be instead of the opposite sex (male best friend = hot female = ideal. female best friend turned male = what she wants when she says 'looking for a best friend..that's a guy)...so it's a wonder anything works out.
    -for a guy, there's no point in trying in a relationship, if you don't start with a natural and balanced equilibrium that you can appreciate right from the start, it'd probably flop...hopefully sooner than later. after all, it's something like the length of a relationship is determined by a woman's threshold for pain and suffering caused by male anatomy stuck in the wrong places. What can i say, i have a penis, don't hold that against me.


    i can't believe i still haven't shook you off...damn stalker.

    About Me
    -pet pev's: angry gals with mustaches that work in schools scaring little children
    -likes: me, myself, and i...especially when i make myself laugh, which is often enough.
    -if i say all the wrong things, some women will still like me...that is how you know you've meet the one, if she can like you for who you are, even though who you are sucks...sucks titties.

    [us?]
    -i will screw everything up
    -so valentines day comes around and you're single, that's great, but i ain't saving you.
    -valentines day is red for a reason...it represents the blood you're going to bleed and the hell you're going to burn in if you fall in love ^___^
    -you're probably full of shit, that's something we both have in common.
    -your perfect mate is pretty much one that beats you into perfection, because only when you're beat into perfection can you truly realize what is perfection...
    -looking for a girl that swears like a sailor and humor rivals my own...for competition. i can pretty much guarantee our relationship will inevitably bomb, but might as well enjoy it for the seconds it lasts.
    -do you find me telling you to "fuck off" a turn on? ^__^ yaaa!

    ...this ad was completed 6am in the morning, it's not perfect, just probably the best thing you've read in a long time but whatever. write me back or not, it's your prerogative; whether I acknowledge your existence thereafter, that's mine.

    • Location: b4 click, pls check that ur 18+ & female
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

     

     

    *** replies to my ad ***

    SG:

    Reply to Craigslist

    Not only are you funny, but you seem to be right on the money....even at 6 a.m.
    It WAS the funniest thing I have read but it was also one of the most honest ads I have read.....
    Too bad you are such a young "pup".....

    ***

    AW:

    i jump into nuclear reactors all the time

    i liked your post! it was pretty funny. i find that a lot of women seem to look for men hoping that they'll change and men find the perfect woman (who's on her best and fakest behaviour at first) hoping she'll never change. i see from the outside a lot of unhappy relationships, like he wants more sex and is really fed up cause it's been once a month for 2 years but he doesn't want to break up with him cause he'll hurt her feelings, but isn't that what she's doing by denying him sex? i think that a relationship is about being happy. it's like a friendship with sex. and some intimacy and whatever. 

    here's some stuff about me: i'm a girl, i'm 23, went to college and now i work. i'm not rich like you wanted, but i can make up for that in other ways. i'm 5'5", average build, long blonde hair. i like musicals, video games, reading, pocky, and having coffee/tea/other hot drinks with friends and chatting about stuff. partying is always good times but i don't do it that much. i like [explicit content removed], i swear too much and and i don't really like puppies as much as i pretend to.

    i haven't got much in the way of expectations, i think. don't be an asshole (i had a first date once where the guy [illegal content removed]). some manners are good, but don't overdo it, you know. if we have a date and you decide not to call me, i don't EXPECT an explanation, but i so wish for one...perhaps i did something wrong that i can easily fix! i'm always trying to be a better person and being a better date is a good place to start. 

    anyway, that's all i have to say for now. talk to you later! or not.

     

    ***

    BS:

    {snicker}

    I have a boyfriend but you amused me enough for me to offer the hand of friendship.  I love candy and can kick your ass at videogames. 

    me:

    i like your initials, B.S.

    ...sure you might be able to beat me in video games, but not if i jab
    your eyes out first.

    ***

    MM:

    Can You Believe I Read Your Whole Craigslist Post?

    Okay, so the subject line of this e-mail is way too long, and you probably couldn't read it from your inbox list; in all likelihood, this prompted a swift and emphatic, "What the fuck?" Maybe you even thought this was junk mail--not spam, because spam is the artificial meat they put in bad egg rolls, and has nothing to do with mail--sent it to your trash bin, but began to wonder what the rest of the subject line said--to say nothing of the e-mail's body--and backtracked to read it. 

    Or maybe you just deleted it outright, and I'm typing into deadspace ... fuck.

    However, on the outside chance that you're actually reading this--or should I say, still reading this--let me answer a few of the challenges (they're not exactly "questions," are they? </rhetoric>) that you posed in your initial post:

    #0: No.

    #1: You're a guy, I'm a girl. My parents are rich, but I'm not; I jokingly tell people that "I'm ugly as sin, but sexy as fuck," but you won't understand how that works until you (never) see me in a nightclub.

    Oh, and I'm smarter than you. 

    #2: You can shave my head, if I can surgically remove your right testicle and sacrifice it to Cthulhu--before the clippers come out.

    A: I am very consistent in the way I keep a man happy, in that I do so rarely, if it all.
    B: I have never found everything I'm looking for, so I have never felt the disappointment of finding something I didn't want. It's true that my cravings never get sated, but I'm not going to tell you what I crave--maybe if you're a real good boy, then someday...

    And if you haven't laughed by now, at least out of nervous shock if not mirth, you're more than welcome to surgically remove the lower quarter of your own ribcage, bend over, and relieve some of the tension in your swollen head. But, I'd rather you keep reading.

    So now, here's the kicker: I don't want to be your girlfriend. Hell, I don't even want to fuck you. I don't even live in Toronto! I was just cruising Craigslist ads for a laugh, happened upon yours, got to the end...and imagine my surprise when I realise that there's still a human being on this planet that still knows how to spell "prerogative" properly! Really, I just needed to congratulate you.

    That's right, I just made you wade through a page and a half of bullshit for a pat on the back and a fucking gold star on your spelling test. Face it, you're already in love with me--too bad I'm out of reach, huh?

    A reply is not necessary, not expected, but more than welcome. E-friends?

    Cheers.

    ***

     

    Difference between flirting with White chicks vs Asian...one word = swearing.

    Maybe I should do a repost... and title it: Which one makes you laugh more? 1. My flirting with White Chicks on Craigslist OR 2. my flirting with Asian Avenue girls (from Yale and Harvard)? Can anybody say hot damn?!??

     

     

    enough hypotheticals: Real dating ads and responses, where's yours?

     

     

     

    ...does this button look ugly?
    sponsor a million dollars to remove it ^_^

     

Wednesday, 02 June 2010

  • response to TVUStudent1 Usability evaluation of xanga.com

    TVUStudent1 did a study on usability of Xanga, below's my reply to her....

    These studies always intrigue me,

    Are you taught with a certain set of methodologies, that may affect your outlook and judgement on the usability of sites?


    YOU?
    Before we get to Xanga, I'd say, first of all, your evaluation needs some usability re-adjustments:

    1. Hierarchy / Visual Map
    you say Xanga doesn't have a sitemap but you don't have a table of contents, sections, and subsections in your evaluation which makes it hard to scan and makes your content feel inaccessible when reading at times, even if you have valid or good points!

    2. Magazine styling for academic papers?
    your paper would be easier to read if larger points were given more prominence, with specific details slotted under and given less visual estate. not all points are created equal, let the larger points you're trying to make catch my eye and supporting points fall under them.

    Visual presentation should support bringing out the best of your data...and if your work is in PDF format, you can use hyperlinks to make navigation easier within your own document or content.


    XANGA?
    The lexicon isn't the same throughout, could be because the site is old and has to carry over things (versus built from scratch...which is a lot easier to make 'clean'), and updates of new design may be made by different people. Versus, sites that would be more coherent because they are completely new and designed by only a handful of people...or one person.

    The chaos may also be a variable of design style, and personality types of those who make/started the site. If you head over to LiveJournal, the founder is a Unix guru? When I first went to his site many years ago, I got the whole computer programmer feel, the interface felt like it was made by programmers for people who knew how to code.

    Reading about the founder of this site, although he has a tech background also? I feel his design/site philosophy is different, I read one post that mentioned him following up on how the news industry work? So you get a design that's totally different from one another, and choices that are made like style vs plain, minimalistic efficiency.

    I'm just saying these things off the top of my head, and don't have the sources on me, but if you dig around you can find them...which is probably good to have if you're doing an academic paper.


    XANGA USABILITY deeper issues?
    to me Xanga has two issues:

    1. Surface Issues
    -there's users that mess with their layouts, make their layouts non-standard so that it's hard to do things like view their profile, etc.
    -making comments/posts, I often have to edit every single one of them to insert back proper spacing, the visual editor sometimes doesn't behave as one would expect and have to go back to editing the HTML, which sometimes doesn't behave as expected either because Xanga sometimes "translates" or converts the code you type in
    -can't edit my themes anymore been broken for like a week

    2. Deep seeded problems
    Here's where things get interesting, and I probably should give a more in-depth analysis (but won't right now, maybe later...in fact, some of the things I thought up I should be paid for, because they could change Xanga into something more valuable than Facebook if fixed/corrected/addressed...to the least they'd have a significant leg up on other blogging sites)

    A. my real usability problem with Xanga involves other people finding me, MyAnimeList.net does a lot better job at this, even though they have LESS people on their site. Even though I do very little on their site, I still get traffic. Versus if I post something on Xanga or get involved in various aspects of this site...I do that, I get a low ratio of return, much less than the effort I put in usually. That is key. This is a key issue to Xanga's exodus, growth, or future.

    B. the second usability problem I have with Xanga, is me trying to search and find other people...of high quality and calibre...I feel the browsing here is like the Wild West, chaotic.

    To implement my vision/suggestions would probably require significant restructuring of the front and back-end of this site, the way it works, to add more value to this site and improve the user experience. Even if it's just seemingly simple things like linking the things we have in common and minimizing the number of clicks to get from my site to yours, and vice versa.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

  • Date site hilarity. Think you're going to get results? Think again.

    I now own a dating site, i wouldn't recommend anyone to it though, unless you're feeling particularly generous and want to hand over money for no results.

    Below are two reasons why you'll get no results from some dating sites, it's best said visually....

    Reason #1:

    screenshot taken from a webservice that allows you to build a dating site (name of the guilty party has been removed)

     

    Reason #2:

    the highlights of this ad is "THIS IS AN AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED DESCRIPTION" ...in other words, I didn't have to type in anything, they just filled in the profile for me. you have to pay to see the full profile description, aka. what I actually wrote for my profile...and if i remember correctly...i believe i wrote nothing.



    After coming across these two things, I don't think I can ever see dating sites in the same light...can you?



    .

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

  • SAVE XANGA!! before it's too late....

    HAPPY XANGa-eR. yah! i made it, they put one of my post up on datingish :p but apparently the views rack up on their blog not mine :p lol, so much for getting more traffic. Conversion rate's like 400+ views for my post on datingish -to- one new visitor checking out my site. Still better than the average day of none ;p I guess I have to (re)establish "name-brand" to get things rolling? .......and there's another issue, perhaps more pressing? the Xanga population size going down, or not advancing proportionally to the rest of the Internet?

    Xanga's Alexa ranking has been slipping and activity seems less than before I took my long hiatus (about two years ago)? How can we revive Xanga or put it higher up in Alexa's ranking... so it doesn't slip or go the way of Asian Avenue (AA went from top 20K sites, to now at risk dropping off the chart altogether at past 100K)?

    Xanga VS Facebook. If I was to revamp this site, I'd:

    1. Pro-bent (attract & focus on the Best of Xanga)
    Market to heavy hitters, excellent writers/artists/trend-setters/people with interesting lives/etc those are the people that sell your site for you. They're the ones that attract, maintain interest, have people circling them, and keep people engaged/glued. When AA was in it's prime, there were a high proportion of those people, as those members slowly dwindled or exited so did the traffic. If those people end up in youtube, their audience will go to youtube with them also.

    2. $$$ Making (increase other's cashflow to increase your own, only alive people generate revenue, dead ones don't contribute anything to Xanga)
    Target making money for poor and middle class, make this easy and substantial as possible, that's one edge Blogger has over this site (if the people on the front page only get like thousands of views ....there might not be enough traffic on the entire site, to meet my objective of a $100/day?? ...is there any site in the world that can do it?? I'm actually curious as to people who have signed up for Google Adsense, how much are you guys really making for the audience size you get??)

    3. Network with other Sites 
    Xanga needs to find a way to grab/exchange/or connect to the audience of other (top) sites. Maybe join openID, Friendconnect, etc. Find ways to connect/form a bridge/partnership with other sites, where it would be mutually beneficial or improve the user experience/convenience. In the old days, solo sites were fine, but nowadays, the social web's developed to the point where sites need to forge alliances with each other... if they don't but other sites do, they can be at a considerable disadvantage. Examples can be like, Datingish can be turn into a real dating site (probably take a while to develop), or Xanga can partner up with a site like Match.com (which specializes in dating).

    4. Increase Comradeship
    many of the things we can do, just to be nice to others, don't cost anything... but these small gestures, can make another person's day... and if we all were to do them for each other, days can turn to lifetime...

    one of the reasons people leave sites is because nobody interacts with them when they're there and trying to contribute. i've browsed many Xanga sites, some where people would post for a while and then die off, or even some sites where the content was decent or above average, but the commonality would be that there were few comments or user responses or views or friends on those sites...some of the sites definitely deserved more attention and feedback than they were getting.

    I think it's important to find ways to get members more involved in each other's sites, many of the top contributors of this site are in a loose pack together, there need to be more packs like that. Group cohesion and packs/pack advantages are important. If the majority of your friend group is here, there's a pressure to stay or join if you haven't before. Peer pressure is an advantage Facebook sort of has, because if all your friends are on there and you don't join then you might not be in the loop communication-wise, or listen to the group broadcasts and discussions.

    5. Get Involved in the Greater World 
    Found out Xanga got sued and fined by the FTC for a million dollars. is that part of the reason why they had to roll out ads? cause of a million dollars? ...i remember when i was 13, i'd do a bunch of things that were for 18+, like computer gaming. dunno why authorities are so caught up in age, when it should be maturity that's rated (albeit hard to do), some people under 13 are probably more mature than others at 18. are regulations put into play by over controlling parents and religious figures? it used to be age of consent in my country/province was 13, at one time, people got married and had kids early...but it seems they keep on pushing the age of consent and legal age up and up... perhaps to take away power from the youth and put it in the hands of older authority figures. Besides using negative press to your advantage what can we learn from this?

    Politics? Get involved in something bigger that's worth fighting for, or can have people rally together for, or to the least have interesting and engaging debate over. On animenewsnetwork, there seems to be ongoing discussion about how far laws so go, like whether people should be prosecuted for virtual child porn versus real child porn, if in the virtual porn nobody is really getting hurt or abused... and cases where people were setup by authorities to push the cases through, etc.

    Is there a social networking site that focuses on the news? The effects of what transpired, debate of what we can do about it? A social site that actually changes or has an effect on the events that happen in the world?

    6. And lastly, but most importantly....

    update: June 11, 2010

    Just ask, if you need help! I'd be willing to do some contract work for you (or get a bunch of Xangians to come together to)!

Saturday, 22 May 2010

  • ON GOING: How to Choose People? (aka: date&mate filters in love,romance,&relationships)

    What you wouldn't do in business, you shouldn't do in romance too.

    Would you choose a business partner just because they're hot? or rich? or would you put more weight for reasons such as ethics, personal characteristics, values, and ideology? and whatever you choose, are you willing to bet your life and future on it?

    Would you be better with the person or without? is the partnership and pairing sustainable? how does the other person handle money, in spending and savings...as a reflection of their life? how do they behave in the process of making profit, or in situations of loss or responsibility? are they a sharer, giver, taker, weasel, or lion? do they have integrity and keep their promises? are they consistent? what's their breaking point? would you trust them with all your resources, your will, to make decisions for you in the event of incapacitation?

    Would you hedge bets on winning as a team? how are you different together versus apart? do the things you do together make any difference? for better or worse? are your weakness/strengths different or the same? what percentage of volatility, risk taking, and pay off are you willing to accept? how do you balance your portfolio? am i talking about business and investments or relationships? are you reading my sentences or just skimming? how would the both of you generate revenue to sustain your life and relationship? would you be able to handle each other's taxes and maintenance costs...friction generated from being in long term and close contact with each other?

    these are the things I should ask myself,
    and I tell myself that...

    if you gain the ability to control your emotions,
    to hold steady and control your impulses,
    relationships are made up of logical choices,
    like investments,
    the choices you make with people
    can leave you empty or carry you through
    the rest of your life's journey.

    So how do you choose people? In ways that matter or don't? (as I once have, and am prone to doing from time to time...)

Monday, 17 May 2010

  • Relational: Quotes for the heart, if you have one.

    -the depth and intensity of your love determines the amount and duration of sadness you feel.
    -i never want to fall in love, but i always do, cause i'm a fool. and i just fooled you. into falling in love with me too. ...why do my words always turn out so lyrical and beautiful?
    -life would not be life without flirting, fun, love...and everything getting in the way of that.

    the heart you abandoned does nothing but wander
    to my dear who I've shared the happiest time of my life
    we meet before in another life...and we'll meet again in another life thereafter

    -love is such a fickle thing, because most of our capacity for it only extends no further than ourselves.